Sunday, January 7, 2007

Calvino Writing Assignment

Invisible City: Menaca
Theme: Death/After-Life

I stumbled upon the city of Menaca by what I thought was a mistake. I was searching for the sea of Utopis, the one where the shadows of dancing girls with silvery scales swim beneath the medusa-shaped chandeliers. I entered Menaca without knowing where my feet were taking me, as if the city were controlling my every move. I could not leave, for my curiosity overtook me, and the buildings seemed to be whispering my name in an attempt to captivate me further.
At first glance, the city seemed deserted, a place where mildew grew in every dark and damp corner, where dead grass and weeds that were once unruly had grown between cracks of concrete so that they overtook the streets, where doors and window shutters hung unhinged and on the brink of collapse. Shortly after I had concluded that there was no other person in Menaca but me, swirls of white smoke began to sneak through the windows and doors of the houses, as if fires had been simultaneously lit within their walls. Slowly the smoke began to take form, and images of translucent people watching me walk by began to haunt my steps.

They continued to pass through the walls until they filled the streets, whispering in undecipherable tongues, and I saw that some of them were faces I had once known—the old and wrinkled man who lived near me long ago, who always smoked his pipe full of sweet tobacco; the young girl I befriended as a child, who still played her game of jacks on the street corner; the first woman I had loved, her eyes piercing and her hair long and flowing. I was certain I had fallen into a dream, for I knew that all these people were dead now, but my feet continued to lead me to a fountain that stood erect in the middle of the street, and the translucent figures surrounded me as I came to a halt.

Without warning, they threw me into the water and held me down, and I laid there helpless and terrified, as all I could do was stare up at their blurred faces through ripples of water. I soon felt my soul being wrenched from my body, and my skin began to fade before my eyes. When there was none of my body left, I emerged from the fountain as swirls of white smoke and took my new form in the middle of the crowd, just like them, a ghost without a voice or a beating heart. It was then, in the city where I was destined to remain forever, that I realized my fate.

Invisible City: Laosa
Theme: Fruitless Pursuit

One morning your desires awaken all at once and surround you in Laosa. In the city, you live only with men, and on this morning you will become a fool like the rest of them. There are no houses in Laosa, no buildings, nothing man-made. It is only a labyrinth full of towering walls of prickly, green leaves, and the men sleep under the bushes and eat the berries off their vines.

There is one woman in Laosa, and she is what turns all the men into fools. She wears a long, translucent robe, so that her nipples are barely visible beneath its glow. Her locks of hair are wavy and dark, and her eyes are the color of the sea after a vicious storm. Her skin has a glow that almost matches her white robe, and men can hear her light breath as she runs barefoot among the bushes. Men live in Laosa only to catch her, to seduce her into their arms and feel the comfort of her body against theirs.

However, for many men who lived in Laosa, a possible future became only a toy in a glass globe. No matter how hard you try to catch the woman, she is never within your reach. If you ever come close to grabbing her arm or robe, the towering labyrinth of bushes will create a tunnel in which she can disappear, not to be seen for days or even weeks. Many men have wasted their days pursuing her, and in the anguish that develops after years of trying, they eventually lose the will to eat and perish. Even if you wish to leave Laosa, as many men have tried to do, you are so lost within the maze that there is little hope of escaping its dreary depths. No man knows if the woman of Laosa has been captured before, but she is the only hope that gives him the will to live. All men in Laosa are slaves, never to be truly content or satisfied, never free to live their lives the way they wish to, the sun rising and setting on their lonely beds.

Invisible City: Zoma
Theme: Memory

When you come to Zoma for the first time, the city can never be foreign to you. The city itself is beautiful, as the buildings have spiral staircases encrusted with spiral seashells, doors outlined with golden engravings, tall painted towers with views of the distant sea, and shiny cobbled streets that dully reflect the sun’s light. When you walk on these streets of Zoma, your gaze runs over patterns following one another as in a musical score. Select memories begin to fill your mind, detailed ones that were lost for years and could never be recovered until the day you came to Zoma.

The inhabitants of Zoma will always be friendly to you upon your arrival, keen to invite you into their homes to hear stories around their comforting fireplaces that smell of alder wood. Their food is hearty and their laughter is contagious, and often times you will be invited to tell your own stories as well. This is when your past comes to life, when your stories become part of someone else, when you begin to feel as if Zoma is your home.

You must be wary, however, that as you walk along the glimmering tree-flanked streets of Zoma, you draw yourself further and further away from where you came. As your lost memories become stronger, you begin to forget about the people in your life who have raised you, loved you, and cared for you. The remembrances that would never leave you before you came to Zoma will begin to disappear within the city, swept away in the light breeze that tickles your face. After you come to Zoma, those who live outside the city will wait for you to return, wondering why you have been away so long. They will miss you, but unless you have the will to leave the city, you will never miss them again.

Invisible Cities: Eusinia

Eusinia is a wondrous city, surrounded by sea and lakes, snow-capped mountain ranges, and hundreds of tall, green trees. The inhabitants of Eusina live on a dark gray, sandy beach laden with seashells, colorful rocks, and bits of smooth, washed up glass. The Eusinians build huts using driftwood and the grassy reeds that surround their beach, creating welcoming homes in which they raise their children and entertain their guests.

On the surface, the city of Eusinia is a happy place, where old men tell stories and children laugh as they run over the clams that shoot water through their burrowed holes in the sand. Women gossip as they wash clothes and linens in the playful creeks that surround the reeds, and young men hunt for clams and fish near the sea. When you come to Eusinia, the light breeze dances upon your skin and elates your spirits. Birds soar among the trees and clouds, waking the city every morning with their entrancing songs.

However, if you spend a few days in Eusinia, you will begin to notice that the entire population is separated from each other by race. The five main tribes who live on the beach have begun to build walls around their individual villages. Even though those who visit Eusinia will be utterly content during their stay, they will soon learn that it is not a place where they wish to live. You will see that the Eusinians are continually plagued by the strife and anguish of their racism, by the fragmentation and disconnection of their pointless prejudice. They will tolerate each other, but never accept each other, and they will ever change. If you stay in Eusinia, you must be prepared to experience utter happiness along with utter pain, as there will always be someone who will never accept you.

2 comments:

Paige said...

Menaca – A little disturbing, good imagery though. You really had me fooled, “the shadows of dancing girls with silvery scales swim beneath the medusa-shaped chandeliers” had me thinking this was a nostalgic, happy story, but the twist at the end disproved that. Leaving the traveler as “a ghost without a voice or a beating heart” seemed like a fitting ending to the story.
There are a few places where you broke the vivid imagery with pretty analytical phrases, like “Shortly after I had concluded.” This broke the flow, at least for me. If you could tighten up the descriptive language a little, it should be a very strong piece.

Laosa – This seemed very Calvino-ish to me, good job. I really like the “sun rising and setting on their lonely beds” right at the end, it wraps the story up nicely. I think you really captured your theme of “fruitless pursuit” in the work, but I would have liked to see a little more of the motivation for this pursuit.
I’d like to see this one expanded, it’s a really good start and it would be fun to see where it leads. Why does she disappear, what about her really makes them all stay?

Zoma – I especially liked the imagery surrounding the people: “Their food is hearty and their laughter is contagious.” It really did feel like a nice, friendly place to go. I also like description of the city itself in the first paragraph, very pretty.
I was a little confused by this piece, are you remembering your past or someone else’s? If it’s yours, why would you forget about your friends and family, and if you do forget, why would you reach the desire to leave the city? A little clarification on these would be nice.

Eusinia – Interesting contrasts. You’re really good at starting a nice, happy story and adding a dark twist. I like the way the city seems idyllic, until you stay awhile. Is that a comment on somewhere you’ve been before?
It would be interesting to know why they don’t just wall off their cities and have separate ones. The story also seemed a little abrupt, I would like to see it in a fleshed out, longer form. Also, I don’t know if I thought the city would give “utter happiness,” it seemed nice, but “utter” seems to be stretching it a little.

Kristina said...

Menaca
I like how shocking this story is. Its obviously not what the reader is expecting. I like your writing style: it flows well and is easy to read. It was an interesting story.
The phrase “I knew that all these people were dead now” is a little awkward, Instead I’d say something like “I knew all these people were now dead”, I think that’d flow better. I wouldn’t say “I laid there helpless and terrified”, ‘laid’ seems like the wrong word when he’s drowning, it makes it seem peaceful. The end sentence isn’t powerful enough. Its also kind of redundant – the reader already understands what has happened. One thing that was confusing is that if the narrator is now dead, how is he alive to tell the tale?

Laosa
The story is well written. It conjures up great imagery and allows the reader to fully imagine what is going on. The theme is well articulated.
The quote “as she runs barefoot” doesn’t feel like it fits to me somehow. The previous description of the woman makes me think of her as floating almost as she walks, It felt weird to imagine her running. The sentence “No matter how hard you try to catch the woman, she is never within your reach”, sounds redundant.

Zoma
The phrase, “patterns following one another as in a musical score”, has fantastic imagery. But the ending sentence isn’t poignant enough. The idea behind this story is great, and I think given more time you certainly could make it more powerful. It is very good, but I think your other cities have a certain strength in them, maybe a shock value, that this is missing in this story.

Eusinia
I like the imagery of the clams squirting water. Very effective. However, the sentence “Even though those who visit Eusinia will be utterly content during their stay, they will soon learn that it is not a place where they wish to live.” Is very vague, and I had to read it several times to get what you were trying to say. I thought this story was powerful, and I really liked your description of racism. It was extremely effective.